Archive for September, 2013

My Days Are Better With You

I was inspired by this post I read from Hands Free Mama to share some of the reasons my days are better because of these three gifts from God!

Older Son – God’s Helper
My days are better with you because of the way you love people. You are always planning for the next time you can be with others.
My days are better with you because you are a planner just like me and even though it drives me nuts sometimes because I don’t always have a plan, I smile because you are like me. I also drove my mother nuts wanting to know the plan.
My days are better with you because of your excitement and zeal for life.
My days are better with you because of your silliness.
My days are better with you because you retell stories you have heard us share. You know you are God’s helper because that is the name we chose for you. I love when you ask me to tell you about your birth.
My days are better with you because you say gessert instead of dessert.

Younger Son – Fiery One
My days are better with you because of your smile. There is nothing like it in all the world.
My days are better with you because of the way you dance. I love that you even dance in the doctor’s office when you are the one who is sick.
My days are better with you because you are full of fire just like the meaning of your name and I am ok with that. I bless you to become one who is filled with the fierce and fiery love of God and to carry the fire of God all the days of your life.
My days are better with you because you understand being alone. I’ll sit quietly with you any day!
My days are better with you because you love peanut butter and so do I and so does my dad so it makes me think of him.

Little Girl – She Shall Increase in Wisdom
My days are better with you because you are a girl! And I am no longer the lone girl in this family. And you make me want to be more girly so you and I can do girly things together.
My days are better with you because of your smile and your big eyes. My favorite is that you are always looking for me. Right now Mom is best to you and how could I not love that!
My days are better with you because you will sit in your crib and talk away like you’re having your own conversation. It makes me smile.
My days are better with you because you kick your legs when you are excited and you remind me that life is something worth getting excited over.
My days are better with you because you remind me to slow down and cherish the moments that matter because life really does go so quickly.


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I have been wanting to write for a long time. I think about writing almost every day but my computer is in our basement and the only time I can write is in the early morning or after my kids are in bed and I don’t want to wake the boys sleeping downstairs. Plus it is cold down here.

Tonight I decided just to go for it. I am awful at saying I have a new idea for a blog series and then never following through. I have given up trying to be the next cool blog. Honestly, I just want a space to write. Some times I am tempted to just give up on a blog and keep my writing private and I may still do that but if my writing can be encouraging to someone else I am fine keeping it public. The only problem with having an audience is that you think of your audience when you write and sometimes I just want to write and not think too hard about it.

I have been really struggling as a mom lately. Maybe even as a person. Life feels really weird right now. I think a lot of it has to do with change. Oldest son is in kindergarten and younger son is in preschool. Little girl is teething and sitting up and eating more solids. She will be 7 months tomorrow. Our church is adding a Saturday service which means more responsibility on hubby and a change in our already weird schedule for days off. I am changing the days I work in the office at church so now instead of two days I will be working three (for shorter amounts of time in order to pick up older son from school).

I think all the change is bringing fear and highlighting what already feels frail to me. My biggest desire as a wife and mom is to have heart to heart connections with my family. But it feels like I don’t really know how to foster that. I am not saying we don’t have any of it but I feel like I don’t know how to have that and as the seasons change I feel like the time to create these kind of relationships becomes all the harder. I was sharing the other day how I was having a “I’m a bad parent” kind of day. Hubby asked the boys if I was a good mommy. Maybe I read into it but I felt like they looked at their dad with questioning eyes of how to say the right thing. Hubby starting listing some of the ways I take care of them like cooking healthy meals. Older boy said, “Yeah, and you have a first aid kit.” I suppose for a boy this is a great compliment because he knows when he gets hurt this Mama has something to help.

But what I long to be known as I don’t feel like I fit or like I know how to do it. I try to tell myself that God gave me these children for a reason and that He chose me to be their mom but it doesn’t always help. I want to be known as more than the cook and nurse. I want to be the one they can come to about anything. I want to be known as the mom who laughs and has fun and can be silly. I want to be known as a good story teller. I want to be known as a mom who walks with Jesus.

Even more than my desires as a mom, I have desires for us to be connected as a family and I am beginning to wonder how we can protect that as a ministry family. Maybe we aren’t really any different than anyone else. Everyone is busy, right? What makes us any different? I don’t know but some how it feels different when I am alone with my kids for another evening while hubby has something going on. Somehow it feels different when I drive alone to church and then sit alone and try to keep three kids content until they can go to children’s church. Sometimes it feels different when my desire to serve in other areas like my friends are isn’t possible because of hubby’s commitments. But I really do love what we do and wouldn’t want it any other way. I just want to know how to make the best of it and how to make it work for us.

I don’t really have any closing thoughts besides that I know the answer lies in Christ and keeping my focus on Him. I will keep asking for wisdom and praying for His grace that He will do what I feel incapable of doing.

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